Xcuse plisss ok thankyou? we are Indian …we are like this only :)

As a true Indian it is my birth right to criticize, condemn, “express outrage” and pass judgments about fellow Indians so boom boom boom lemme hear you say way oooooo. Obama calls India a Super Power but at the ground level its all super prrrrr!!! Prithvi, Jal, Agni, Vayu, Akash and Gutter our Prrr is everywhere with “reserved booking”  Ae look look Aeeerrroooplane! With increased competition more n more low cost carriers who have the responsibility of transporting Indians from one city to another to spread what they love spreading, thhook related diseases have cropped up. From haathgaadi/maalgadi/ghodagaadi to aircrafts it’s been a long journey for the Indian but saale ki do takke ki aukat waisi ki waisi. He’ll remove his shoes and sit cross legged on the seat, fascinated most with the seat belt as if it were a monkey enamored by his own reflection in the mirror. The stench of socks is so killing the oxygen masks automatically drop as if to say “There...breathe” He orders the air hostess as if she were a ‘tambi’ working in some local Shiv Sagar restaurant kept only to serve free chutney. Some actually think holding her hands or even molesting them while the chutney is being served is complimentary and is packaged with the ticket to suit his EVERY need. Papu Yadav from Bihar, who was arrested last week for one such offense justified “Sasuri kutti humka jhoot boli, boli raheen kaunu cheez chahiye to upar ka daba dena. Humne jaise hi daaba billi pagla ke humka zor se chaanta maara” Meanwhile Lakhan Pal raised a stink at the airport of how he wasn’t allowed to put his empty head outside to fill it with more air. Many Indians after experiencing air travel go back to their favorite, TTT (Ticketless Train Travel) at least that way they can travel on rooftops whistle at women and get away with a 250 rupee fine and a “warning” Another reason why train travel is preferred is free electrocution of their 10 watt bums and jumping off the train onto the tracks only to be run over by another train AKA crow lunch. The ones who persevere with air travel take liberties such as farting (hawa hawai hui hui hui hui hui …) after eating roasted masala kaaju with mouth wide open and annoying sounds. How you identify the culprit? Its easy ...the one who coughs in 7-15 second intervals *cough* ……*cough cough*….*cough cough cough …………* Oxygen mask “Sorry too much dioxide to deal with currently I’ll fall on your crotches later” But its all good, we don’t keep udhari (credit) of any kind we’re simply giving back to nature what we borrowed albeit nature has never actually demanded “Mooth Samet wapas” Speaking of “mooth” the Indian who is used to pissing in open gutters, (sometimes falling in them) pampering and flashing his friendly outgoing dick as if it were Paris Hilton breast feeding her Chihuahua for the paparazzi find it most difficult to accommodate his fat hairy ass in that tiny Sauchalaya. Thought for the Day: Avoid coming in direct contact with his hands after a poop well done. Ok two thoughts for the day: Give it at least 15 minutes to a half hour before you go in. Let some one else enter before you, choke to his death or clean it if he survives. Breaking Eeewws - S. Lota is the one responsible for unexpected showers in Bombay last week, claims he was only experimenting with toilet flush 35k feet above pee level. While his baniyan clad brother, Chooran kept screaming “Poora baahar na nikalo….. nahin to wapas bhook lagegi” Jatt Airways chose not to comment on the issue. Meanwhile other brash Indians scream into their 'cordless mobeeel telephones (with complete disregard for tambi’s requests) telling their wives to cover at all times whilst they stare at some gori’s cleavage. In fact they’re so loud the pilot too knows how his neighbors’ dog acquired AIDS. LOUD Snort collection via throat exertion is what bonds all Indians. Its so powerful China is now convinced they’re all after shocks of earthquakes that occur while they blink their tiny eyes. Hu Jintao laments “Hooon shing shing shao shee I see not ….you see? Indian Foreign Secretary “Main Bruce lee tere aangan ki we love to do chee chee” Lack of discipline and patience are personality disorders present only in a few Indians. Even before the train abababa plane has landed you’ll inevitably find creeps around like school children out on the prowl to destroy and damage. Their “Excuse me” and “Thank you” sound like Taliban threats. Uhhhm more like “Bajoo mein hat be chaman nahin to rakh ke doonga kharcha paani” (Move to the side Mr Chams or I’ll keep and give you expense water) In fact people take offense to those two words coz it lacks apna pan (personal touch) like MC & BC. Laloo Prasad Yadav raised a loose motion in the parliament demanding buffaloes to be accommodated in the luggage section of the aircraft. “Excess baggage charges should be bartered for free dung and milk” he added. I’d like to end with a song ok…The Super Prrr Song: Dedicated to all my Indian bros globally warming the environment... One Two Three Phhorrrrrr. Paad bina chain kahan reeeeeeeee pad bina chain kahan reeeeeeeeeee. Dhokla bhi kha, khakra bhi kha , papad bhi khila aree Prrrr kar le. BHAND OF BOYS LIVE FROM FLUSHING MEADOWS .... Yo baiby sing along Paad bina chain kahan reeeeeeeee pad bina chain kahan reeeeeeeeeee ..........:)